The War On Christmas Is Real…. (cats inside)

The War On Christmas Is Real…. (cats inside)

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So turns out there is a war on Christmas.  

It’s happening right now in my own damn home and I’m currently not sure I’m going to win this one….  I need your prayers.

Pre-show: 

Before I even get the tree up, the cats are all over the box like it has kitty crack in it.    They love it so much.  It clearly smells amazing.

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Day 1:  

My lovely Skaana volunteers are here for a meeting and we put the fake tree up.  I set the intention to only put ornaments on the tree in a few days after seeing what kitties do with it since we’ve never had a big tree before, just the little potted ones.

Note that they kitties love the entire process here.  Also we had a lot of fun.

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As a preventative measure, and to avoid any christian specific symbols, I ward the top of the tree with Cthulhu.    I figure that if anyone can protect the tree from cats, it’s probably Cthulhu.    In fact I decide to go with a whole HP Lovecraft version of the tree

and throw some tarot cards and other pagan things on it, giggling when I imagine breaking the internet with my awesome tarot tree.    

“War on Christmas indeed!” I think, “Christmas trees are 100% a pagan tradition.“   

Day 2:  

It seems to be ok, so I tie some non breakable ornaments on the tree – no lights, nothing that can electrocute the cats, no tinsel.

That’s when Saga starts chewing on the tree like it’s foie gras.    

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Day 3: 

Mark is concerned.  I’m concerned, but determined.

So I distract Saga with some awesome wet food, get some bitter apple spray and cover all the branches that She has been chewing on.

That’s when Frejya smells the bitter apple, which has always worked to repel them in the past, decides she loves it so much that she starts licking the tree……. And then eating the damn thing.    

I read a whole bunch of links – I don’t have any citronella oil – so I take all the branches off the lower 1/3 of the tree hoping that will stem the tide.     Because damn it, I want a tree covered in tarot cards…..

Currently:

  • CTHULHU 0
  • CATS 5

What I’ve currently learned:

  • Forget the grinch.  Cats hate Christmas.
  • Clearly my cats are more powerful than Cthulhu.   
  • Also maybe I can make a tree out of old tarot cards?

To be fair Frejya is named after a Norse goddess, and she does have awesome powers.   Possibly this was a crime of opportunity and we shall see what happens tomorrow.    

Final result:

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After waiting a few days, and gradually adding non-breakable ornaments and some battery operated lcd lights (nothing to plug into the wall, nothing to risk electrocution if the dorks decide to chew on it), also my tarot cards, I find that the kitties are finally willing to be lulled.   Now after all the unwrapping, they are far more interested in the boxes under the tree, and their own presents.  Finally. 🙂

Overall, the tarot cards are marvellous – and was really easy to turn into ornaments.   Kitties have a ton of fun frolicking in the wrapping paper and open boxes, plus they ended up with a cat tree of their own…. all this resulted in no more sad faces from me and the ability for us to enjoy the tarot tree experience.  But I wouldn’t add branches back to the tree, and it’s clear that for future reference we’ll have to come up with a better tree plan.    So my final score stands at:

  • CTHULHU 0
  • CATS 5
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